What I Don't Miss About America...

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  • Waking up each morning to fix my OWN bed tea.
  • Newspapers that spend more ink on a cat stranded in a tree than world news.
  • Sending a big fat check to the mortgage company every month.
  • Spelling my name all the time.
  • George W. Bush
  • Putting up with butchered pronunciations of my name.
  • Worrying about the smell of "heeng" in my dress shirt.
  • The phony, stiff "all american" smile.
  • The sneaky cops hiding with their radar guns.
  • The $3 toll on Dumbarton Bridge.
  • Bucket loads of credit card offers and other junk mail.
  • Forking out hundreds of dollars to Dish TV for cricket packages.
  • Spending a mini fortune to keep the lawn green and well manicured.
  • Costco, Walmart, and Home Depot (enough said).
  • California state income tax and sales tax.
  • SBC's customer service (sic).
  • Taking out garbage every Sunday.
  • The pungent fumes of oven cleaners, Windex, and mildew removers.
  • Downer party conversation topics--job layoffs and falling markets.
  • Government forms that ask about ethnic origin.
  • Being confused for a Mexican.
  • Traffic radio.
  • Carpool lanes.
  • Smog checks.
  • George W. Bush
  • Being told that I speak English good (sic).
  • Political correctness.
  • George W. Bush

Comments

Maneesha said…
Your list is puny compared to what all America represents. Does your blog mean you miss rest of US except for what you listed here ? You must like America a lot, man. I guess, all Americans do...
Monday, October 25, 2004
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